🤔 The Black Coffee Theory

How Often Does It Happen To You?

I saw a viral TikTok video about this.

A girl walks into a busy coffee shop and approaches the stressed barista.

“What can I get you?” He enquires.

“Anything but a black coffee.”

“What do you want?”

“I don’t know. All I know is I don’t want a black coffee.”

She sits down.

When he gets to her order, all he can remember is black coffee.

A few minutes later she’s handed exactly the thing she didn’t want. Because it’s all she talked about.

Most of us are living this way.

Manifesting our deepest fears without even saying them out loud.

I’ve certainly been guilty of this lately.

And it’s time to draw a line in the anxiety sand.

“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”— Charles Bukowski

Intelligent people research and research. Scared of picking the wrong idea. Scared of wasting time.

The fear of wasting time paralyses them.

They get stuck. They don’t make decisions. Then beat themselves up for not being productive.

It’s why so many intelligent, gifted multipotentialites remain stuck.

The fear of wasting time is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The more they fear picking the wrong idea, the more time they waste spinning their wheels in decision paralysis.

Alan Watts called this the Backwards Law.

“When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float. When you hold your breath, you lose it.”

“The desire for security and the feeling of insecurity are the same thing.” — Alan Watts

The Paradox?

Pursuing positive experiences often creates a negative one, while accepting negative experiences leads to positive outcomes

So obvious yet so hard to see.

Not wanting to waste time means we waste our time.

Not wanting to fail means we don’t start and fail slowly.

The more we try to control our anxiety, the more anxious we feel.

We get what we don’t want because that’s all we focus on.

This is the black coffee theory.

The Spiritual Way to Make Money

I created this framework 👆 to help me accept inevitable pain and avoid suffering.

Every creator will experience pain.

The spiritual part is accepting it.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. — Michael Singer

I accept I’m going to fail. Failure gives me information I can react to.

It doesn’t mean I don’t experience fear.

I do.

It doesn’t mean failure does not hurt.

It does. A lot.

But failure doesn’t define my identity. Taking action does.

Being cringe does not define my identity. Having the courage to consistently post content despite the cringe does.

I was not born this way. I have learned to reshape my identity on action and not outcomes.

Success in creativity or business is a numbers game.

All that matters is taking the shots. The results will take care of themselves.

Christiano Ronaldo has scored the most penalties in football history.

He has also missed the most penalties in football history.

Babe Ruth help the record for both most home runs, and the most strike outs for over 35 years.

The fear of being misunderstood is inevitable.

The people who judge us don’t dare to do it themselves. Every troll I’ve encountered on TikTok has never posted a single video.

But the biggest troll we face is our own inner critics.

The inner critic isn’t you. It’s your creative ego trying to keep you in your comfort zone.

Take risks, and you’ll experience anxiety. Do nothing, and your overthinking mind creates even more anxiety

You’re going to feel anxious either way.

The world is on fire. You might as well take the risks and be proud of yourself for doing it.

Anxiety is inevitable. Suffering is optional.